resurrect this blog i say!

i need an outlet. an outlet that people can read and yet is semi-private.

grabe ewan ko ba...............
im so...........
being defeated by myself......
EWAN KO ANG GULO KO KASI....

is so hot.
bat ang gwapo nya?
 
why is it that the media portrays real world so differently? it's like an alternate universe i wanna live in. i live for media. literature, the net, show business, music, make-believe stuff.

maybe because its so fantastical that i love it. it gives me emotions with no strings attached.

i am feeling. crazy. good crazy and bad crazy. but more of the good crazy.
stuff i want to blab about:
1. the future.
you know what, i just found this out about myself. I need NEED to plan about the future. I mean, I think about it all the time. I have urges to think and meticulously plan my future. I just realized it's one of my obsessions. I have long since known that I am very obsessive (when I get obsessed), so I plan my future really meticulously. It has its perks and its non-perks. First of all, it's weird to not-live-the-moment. Forever, I am thinking, there's something for me around the corner, and I plan and plan. However, this makes me goal oriented, and isn't that good? The current future I'm planning now is my catching up on subjects. I figure that I CAN catch up, just with 2 semesters of overload and one summer. Great! But then, when I think about when I catch up, it'll be on my 2nd year in Ateneo and also my 2nd to the last year there. I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE AGAIN. I really am having fun here. So after I plan my subjects and I get happy about it, I also get sad because I know it'll be time to leave again. Isn't that strange? That's another thing. As early as now, I know I need to prepare myself to go back to the States. But then, I think I'm really thinking way ahead of the times, because that's 3 years away. I'm weird like that. Still, I think I've also learned that TIME FLIES REALLY QUICKLY so those 3 years aren't that long. I have to treasure them. But how can I treasure them when I have to overload ALL THE TIME? jeeeez. well... one subject isn't really that burdensome so... okay.
2. the philippines, its economy and its weather
those are the things that really cause my problems, actually. if things aren't like this here, i wouldn't have left, i wouldn't be thinking about these things, about budgeting, overloads, stuff like that. I'd be taking it really easy. and also, no pressure about boyfriends and all, since ill be here forever *no way am i gonna get a boyfriend in the states... except if it's _____, that's another story* I'd be having my jobs here, things would be really fun... so there. I hate the philippines that way. it's ironic, because, for the reason that i love the phils, ive come back, but i hate it too for making me leave. it's like it's really trying its best to scare away people like me, when we really love it (my side of the philippines, at least). WEATHER.. is a whole topic in itself. what is wrong with the world? why is it that i'm thrown in a generation where weather is chaos?? just today, I was dying from almost desert level heat, absurdly fanning myself forever, from the start of the day to the near the end. then! as the day was ending, FLASH FLOOD. hello?? katipunan=swimming pool for half naked kids/men. wth. even the classrooms were flooding. shoppersville, according to my mom had roofs dripping water. and because of the economy (ie gasoline is going to be 60 pesos by JULY.) and the freaking weird weather, it is HARD to commute. please help us Lord. people w/o cars/sundo were desperate for jeeps/trikes. and they're all wondering why the philippines sucks. i've read once that its not the huge problems that make people loony. it's the stressors of everyday life that really takes toll. poor people. there were no drainages in katip, very floody (knee high), traffic, no agreeing public transpo cause it's traffic and the gas is really high. what have we come to? I promise, i will really come back and try to help this country and its people when im all good and adult-y.
3. sex
whyyy are college people so into sex. is it lame now to think that people my age are too young to have sex? well then, i'm lame!! thanks. jess and my SPOT is not a virgin anymore. my blockmate has told the class (in response to getting to know game question: what is unique about yourself) that he is not a virgin. Jess' crush is rumored to have been giving a person *l*w*o*s. oookay. Oh. and also that girl i knew and said hi to during orsem is also rumored. actually, a lot of people are doing it! okay. ba yan.
4. gym
i think im getting fat. i think i'll be enrolling in moro tom.
5. how to get to school tom
taxi is hard. jeep nalang? kaso my mom is reluctant! haaaay oh mom.
6....

actually im done. more next time. i need to sleep.